Your words of support and encouragement on my last post have meant the world to us, thank you for being so generous! It feels good to finally share our news, mostly because my writing has been incredibly blocked for months now by keeping this one aspect of our life secret when truly, it is the most exciting thing we have going on. Writing around the story of our land has been a challenge, but now I hope to find myself writing through it more and more.
Because I’m an idea person, perhaps a logical place to start writing is by sketching out the big picture. What do we see for ourselves on this land? I shared in my last post that we've retired the idea (for now) of living in Vermont full time. I suppose that begs the question, if not full time, what then?
We are not fancy people. A "weekend home" is far above our means. Instead, what we're going for is one cost of living divided between two places. That may sound a little unusual, but I'm sure crazier ideas have found their way into the world.
Adam and I are both 42 years old. As Ben said in our recent interview, “We’re not old by any means – I’m 43 and Penny is 47 – but we’re old enough that we can imagine being old.” I get this!! At our age, it’s time to get on with this thing called life and stop waiting for “someday” or “the perfect time.” Like most couples, early in our relationship we felt like our whole lives were ahead of us, there was no rush. Back then I couldn’t imagine being a senior citizen! Now I know for certain that I’ll wake up someday soon and our mailbox will be filled with notices from AARP.
It’s time to start crafting the life we are meant to live.
Coming to the conclusion that we’ll maintain a residence in Connecticut was not easy. After all, we’ve spent twenty years plotting our departure. Did you know Connecticut is one of the leading states in the nation for “residents wanting to leave the sate?” Taxes are crippling, jobs scarce, and if you’re outdoor adventure loving people like us... well, Connecticut is tiny (and waterways are not clean). It’s hard to get a full day hike in around here without crossing a main road or private property, let alone multi-day backpacking trips. “Wilderness” and “Connecticut” do not exactly go together. Speaking of wilderness, beside the large swath of family land in Vermont lies an 8,000 acre, wild and free as can be state forest. And of course more land, lakes and mountains beyond that. The White Mountains are also a short car ride away, so much of that range will be available to us for day hikes and beyond. (I know! Pinch me!)
(To be clear, we are naturally grateful for life in general, no matter the location. Even more so when it is filled with health and happiness.)
We’ll keep a few roots in Connecticut, but look forward to planting our deepest roots up north. More than just a weekend getaway, we see ourselves sharing time between the two places. It won’t happen overnight, but that is currently the vision. In the coming years, it is likely that Adam will be able to structure his work week so only 3-4 days need to be spent in the office, allowing for more flexible living. My work is independent of geographic location, so there may be times when I’m up north building gardens, writing workshops and creating recipes while breathing in that green mountain air; just waiting for Adam to join me on the days he isn’t in the office. After nearly 20 years of marriage, we continue to mature as a couple and as individuals. No longer do I feel like my life will end if we are apart for a couple of nights each week. In fact, two years ago he took a break from full time law practice to be the full time homeschool parent while I worked more. It was great for a lot of reasons, but in the end, we were together all the time and I really missed missing him. We were always together! Together is good, but solitude is also good. And solitude can feel elusive when you’re together 24/7. I love time together as well as time apart, and I especially love the anticipation of being together again. Oh! And I really love the hour before he comes home in the evening... waiting, excited to see him and catch up on our days. I missed that when we were always together. So, we’ll float between Connecticut and Vermont, with perhaps me spending a couple more nights a week up north than Adam. Of course, none of this is in stone, but it feels like it might work out in such a way.
And Emily? It’s hard to believe how much change is on the horizon for our family, she will be 18 in less than one year! We are about to enter a new chapter of living - less hands on parenting, more freedom and independence for all. College, travel, new adventures... who knows! Still lots of facilitating and support on the parenting front, but it will not look the same as during her younger years. My biggest job over the next several years will be learning to go with the flow. To be open to change rather then resist it. Virgo that I am, order, predictability, and structure are places of comfort. Adam can roll with anything - I intend to study his ways and learn as much as I can from him. He is definitely the family guru in this department.
Our plan for the Connecticut leg of this journey is to do it as inexpensively as possible. As mentioned above, the goal is one cost of living divided between two places. That is really the most realistic way for us to pull off dual living (however "dual living" may look in the end). Our Connecticut roots might remain planted here in the home we currently live, or somewhere else entirely. All of that remains to be seen... which sounds so very “go with the flow” of me!
I guess if I could sum up my current vision for Vermont, it would be to slowly and carefully create a sanctuary deep in the woods. A homestead that does not feel of this century, and perhaps not even of the last century. A place that if a stranger happened upon it, they would feel certain Tasha Tudor or Ma Ingalls once lived there. A place to exhale, to work hard, and to be born again. Only time will tell how closely we arrive to fulfilling this vision, and I’m sure it will evolve along the way. All I know is how ready we are to get on with this life... there’s been enough dreaming, it’s time to start living.
