Oh yes we are! We feel so excited (and liberated) about our decision. For months now we have struggled with the next step for Emily, as she graduated from her Montessori school of eight years in June. It is a hard act to follow. To be brief, our public schools here are in a very sad state. I'll say no more. Outside of spending nearly $30,000 per year for a private middle school, Parochial schools are the only affordable option.
I entered the building of such a school near us for the first time in the early spring. It was a bit like entering another dimension. I still don't know if that was good or bad, it was just so different. I'm not afraid of different. I asked if they had a printed seventh grade syllabus I could take a look at. They did not. They did give me all of the forms for enrollment.
I did not sign her up that day.
She went back on her own a week later to "shadow" for the morning. Not to make her feel too different, I reluctantly allowed her to have the hot lunch during her visit, just like everyone else. With the help of the other children she was able to identify what she ate, and did so as fast as she could given that they had only ten minutes to dine after waiting in line to get their lunch. I think cattle probably have a longer lunch period.
I did not sign her up that day.
Two weeks later she returned again with a friend who was shadowing and wanted Emily to come along for company. They were able to go outside for 15 minutes of fresh air. I know some would suggest that is a generous amount of time, that usually by middle school age there is no outside time at all (PE aside). I don't agree. Every human needs fresh air throughout the day, it's fundamental.
I did not sign her up that day.
I went back not too long ago to meet the new principle for the coming school year, it is normal for the nuns to get moved around (from post to post so to speak), regularly. We had a pleasant conversation. I wanted to see all of the seventh grade text books, and I wanted to take them home with me to review. I'm kind of pushy like that. Judging by the look on her face, this was not a common request. Possibly, it was a first. They accommodated my groundbreaking ways, then Emily and I headed out the door with teetering stacks in hand. I am now a Prentice Hall seventh grade expert. And I got a refresher course in religious ed!
I did not sign her up that day.
Emily and I went back to return the books, thanked them and said we would be in touch. As you may have guessed, I did not sign her up that day. This was last week. Something was still holding me back, I needed to shut the societal chatter up in my mind and listen to that whisper. A mother knows what is right for her own child.
Eight years ago when I entered the doors of her Montessori school for my first visit, I knew. I needed nothing more than a pen and a dotted line to sign on. We had found our home. And now, now what? I want that same feeling, I want to know I am making the best choice for her. I have never settled when it comes to her education, adolescence seems like a pretty foolish time to start.
I have a very studious young lady on my hands. She is exceedingly bright in many areas, and works her tail off in others that don't come so naturally. She likes rhythm and accountability. She wants to measure her success. These things have little to do with the intention of her upbringing or the collaborative, exploratory learning method of her Montessori experience. They are simply her own true nature revealed. Of course, had the proper foundation not been laid, would we have such a clear picture of what she is made of?
That is the million dollar question.
I believe in good use of my daughter's time. Life is short. Her days should be meaningful and fulfilling far more than they are not. Such radical thinking, I know.
Of course we will be criticized. There will be opinions.
I like to believe every parent puts tremendous thought, research and energy into choosing the right school path for their children. We make the best choices we can based on individual circumstances, nothing is perfect. There is a lot to consider when sending our children off to school each day, more so right now than at any other point in history. It is a deeply personal decision, right alongside religion and politics if you ask me. It is nothing short of ignorant and cruel to criticize the educational choices and practices of another family. What works for one family should be respected. I read a great quote recently, I can't recall where, that reads, "You're opinion of me is no business of mine." Love that.We are not fleeing from a bad experience, Emily was not crushed by the system. Quite the opposite, Emily loves the idea of school, as she knows it. For eight years she's been admired for her intellectual gifts and revered as a leader in her school community. Give that girl a microphone and a podium and she will address the entire student body (and parents!) like no other. Will this be easy to duplicate because we won't go to a school everyday? No. Impossible? No. Are there a thousand opportunities that await her outside the confines of the school choice available to us now? Absolutely. It's a big wide world out there.
We talked about unschooling, which would have been so appropriate for my own education, in hindsight. But as I expected, Emily gave it a big thumbs down, for her. She thinks it's a really cool idea, but again, she's very familiar with the structure of a fantastic school, she "would like more of that please, with grades!!..." So hard to believe sometimes she is my child.
Here's the really cool part... more and more of "our people" are homeschooling now! Presently, I count six children (various ages) that at one time were part of our school community, and now they homeschool. We are a tribe! Included in this group is Emily's best friend, who lives right across the street. Amazing.
On Wednesday of this week Emily and I, along with her friend and her mom (who is my good friend - withholding names), packed ourselves and a big picnic into our car and headed to Vermont for the day. Destination: Oak Meadow Homeschool offices. They welcomed us with open arms offering tea, cozy couches, and stacks and stacks of books to look through, plus their undivided attention and understanding. Their website is great and you can view many lesson samples, but we wanted to see even more. And you all know, nobody needs to twist my arm to take a drive to Vermont! We spent three hours at Oak Meadow. My friend and I could have stayed longer, but the kiddos were starving!
As I walked into Oak Meadow, I knew. They too, were my people. Their office was in an old mill building, the space flooded with natural light from the ten foot windows. Plants were scattered about. There were no cubicles to speak of, only beautiful antique desks of various styles, many with stained glass lamps on top and oriental rugs underneath. There was a kitchen in one corner, and they used real dishes. Nobody laughed at us when I led the kids through some invigorating pranyama (breath of joy, for my fellow yogis) when they began to wilt two hours into our visit.
I've actually followed and researched Oak Meadow's curriculum and approach to learning for years with great interest, but meeting the staff and experiencing their environment first hand was somehow the final puzzle piece I needed.
I knew. A mother always knows.
Will we always homeschool? Who can say. For now, definitely. And we feel filled with boundless possibility.
As an aside, this choice for us also supports my secret belief that every child from the age of 12-14 (or so) should just stay home. It is so hard to be a human during those years. The world, the media, dare I say the government, Disney, the pace of our culture, and more, continuously act so stupidly on behalf of raising our young people. And then we throw our collective arms up in the air feigning disbelief when "teenagers misbehave." Seriously?
Thank you for hanging in there for this lengthy post. That's our story, and we're stickin' to it. ;)
(I'll return next Friday with the Summer Studio series, join us!)
Have a beautiful weekend!
