This may be the post where I let it fly...
"If we do not have peace and joy right now, when will we have peace and joy, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow?" - Thich Nhat Han
If you were to google the title of this blog you might see that quote in the text below the link. It's a subtitle I had when this blog first began. Which in some ways seems like a lifetime ago but in reality, less than a year. Those words are a healthy reminder for me, for the world really, so I'm happy it still appears on google searches. It's important for me that these pages mostly reflect the positive, the little glimpses of beauty and bliss found in an ordinary life. I've spent some time today visiting blogs and reading about how you all will be ringing in 2008, and how blessed most of you feel looking back on 2007. I want to write that post, the one that says 2007 was full of blessings and good times, wisdom gained, struggles unknown. But I can't. In all honesty 2007 was one of the greatest challenges I've ever known. There have been years of greater loss and heartache. There was the year of medical concern that left many doctors amazed quite frankly that this little life is still ticking. But those were the years where it somehow seemed doable, easy to count blessings when all was said and done, appreciate loved ones who remain here on earth even more. There were so many lessons learned during those years, I felt like such a student of life, and a pretty stellar one at that. This year however, this year provided a hard hitting sucker punch with a side swipe of struggle around every turn. This year has challenged me in ways I've never seen or felt. I've sifted deep into the days of 2007, looking for meaning and truth behind what proved to be the year of greatest challenge in all of my 35 years. So far it has eluded me, but I haven't given up. Maybe by me sharing what is more personal than normal, simply putting it out there, some unexpected answers will be provided, you never know. Of course there is a certain degree of ambiguity in these words that I am writing... "what is she talking about exactly? what on earth has happened this year?" The details of the year behind us? Well, I'm not going to lay that on you too, no no no. No worries, let's just call this a purge of sorts, tis the season. This is just a time of reflection, and I do feel like I am leaving 2007 with so much that is not understood. But I will continue to remind myself that I am a student of life, not a student of the year. All things will reveal themselves in time. This blog has been an important tool for me this year, as has my yoga mat. Both have offered a place for me to capture the beauty in the every day - because even during years that suck for many reasons - there is always joy. Though my yoga mat has received a more honest, uninhibited and raw version of myself, this blog reveals the truth as well. The truth that is intentionally captured as a tool to seize and reveal the beautiful moments in life. You don't need to see under my bed, or my messy kitchen. More importantly, I don't need to see it here - I'm well aware of it. My girlfriend was over the other night and we had the best time cooking and visiting, we laughed because I am probably the worlds messiest cook - which she so openly observed - "how come this doesn't make it on the blog?" It's true I tend to only photograph and share the final well lit results - but seriously, isn't that the best part? Isn't that what we want to remember? Be inspired by? I'm comforted to know that we all have dust bunnies and dirty dishes, but I'm not very inspired by that. Show me beauty, color, texture, bliss, kindness - as long as it is truthful and honest - that's what fills me. Thank you for welcoming me and visiting here this past year. You're words, hellos, and glimpses into your worlds have meant more than I can properly express. But really, thank you. It's good to be here.
The end of 2007 has brought some promising changes that according to my New Years fortune (told a few minutes ago by Madame Emily), should contribute nicely to a fulfilling and joyous year to come. I will share more in a couple of weeks, all is still in the works. But remember how I said I am teaching yoga again? There appears to be a whole lot more of that to come in 2008, for which I am most grateful... stay tuned.
A few weeks ago Emily asked if we could open all the doors on New Years Day, to let out the old year and welcome the new. It's a custom practiced by the Chinese, and now us. I immediately asked if we should open all windows too - to be sure we let out the entire year. 2007, I am ready to be done with you, ready to move on.
I'm not really one for making resolutions, I've actually only made one in my adult life that I can recall. It was several years ago, and I promised myself I would get outside each day for at least half an hour. On the surface it doesn't seem like much, and many days we are easily outside for several hours, but then there are those hours that slip into full days where not a single breath of fresh air has been inhaled. Or maybe only a few minutes here and there dashing in and out of work or errand related places. I don't recall if I was successful in this resolution, the fact that I can't recall tells me most likely I was not. But still, I feel inspired by that same idea again, to make the same commitment. And the words below that I stumbled upon recently. This sentiment combined with one doozy of a year I'm happily moving on from... oh yeah, mandatory nature breaks each day are just what this student of life needs.
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.
Thank you friends, those that I "know" through this blog and those that quietly read behind the scenes. You are all deeply appreciated, many blessings for a healthy and peaceful year ahead.