i'm a vegan?

This past Friday evening I became a vegan. I wasn't planning on becoming a vegan, it just happened. The movie was over, the popcorn and hot cocoa were finished, this idea came out of nowhere, and entered my mind completely uninvited.

I've been feeling like a dietary change was in order for quite some time now. We eat well, lots of whole foods, meals and baked goods are made from scratch. But a large amount of caffeine has entered my life this year as we began homeschooling. My relationship with caffeine was never one of commitment, it would come and go from my life, with little impact. Lately the consumption levels have been pretty ridiculous. And the cream and sugar added to make it so delightful? That felt pretty out of control too.

It wasn't too long ago that I noticed I was waking in the morning with a pounding headache, with a freshly brewed remedy only fifteen minutes away. This is a bad sign... sounds like somebody has a little addiction.

And honestly, I don't think a cup or two of good java is such a bad thing. And alone it probably wouldn't have made me feels so strange either. But in copious amounts, with the cream and sugar - so unhealthy - my body was revolting. I needed a radical change.   

I realize it seems like the easiest solution would be to simply kick the habit, drop the joe. It just wasn't happening. Each night I would go to bed and have that little talk with myself, "starting tomorrow, I'm done with coffee, I'm just not even going to make it," I've even had the little talk during meditation and yoga. We've all had the talk with ourselves at some point about various things right? Tomorrow I will have no sugar. Tomorrow I will have no dairy. Tomorrow I will run, walk, be kind, avoid gossip, talk less, listen more... there are so many talks we have with ourselves.  Anyway, the point is that each day I would get up and make the coffee anyway, completely ignoring what I know to be true, even necesary.            

There has also been mental fatigue, that ever so friendly feeling of waking from a full nights sleep (something I am pretty good about getting) and not feeling refreshed.  Feeling moody about things that normally I'd brush off no problem,  an overall physical feeling sensation of dis-ease, which of course if not  owned  and  taken responsibility for, will undoubtedly result in disease. That's the way the body works. In yoga the body is considered a temple that houses the soul, the divine. My temple needed a renovation.

So this idea just came to me. I tried to talk myself out of it, suggesting I opt for a more realistic vegetarian diet if anything. Nope, my conscience wasn't hearing it - of course, to be fair - my conscience realizes if I were a vegetarian there is a good chance I'd have more than my fair share of sharp cheddar, havarti with dill,  Ben and Jerry's, and more cheddar. Let's not kid ourselves. And all that dairy, well that I believe was largely responsible for the above mentioned blahs...                                                      

I've never been a big meat eater, take it or leave it really. But my family? I do not live in a house where there are vegetarians. I live in a house where a pig was recently delivered (of the ham, bacon and chop variety), straight from the farm - organic and raised beautifully. Last week many, many pounds of venison were given to us. Our freezer is full and the winter is long. I live in a house where if I am out for the evening and have not left dinner already prepared, dinner will surely be steak on the grill, and maybe a box of Annies. Were they going to be okay with this, could they support me?

Yes, of course they could, it's what they do.  So that was it, Friday night, with hot cocoa in my belly I became vegan. It's been five days now and I feel so very good. I feel brighter, clearer, lighter... all of the things one would hope for and expect and so much more. I am however detoxifying. I have felt tired during the day - not in a way that says "argh! I don't have time to be tired!" But in a way that says " hey, I really need to listen to my body here and slow down, let this transition, this healing take place. Do the minimum and then take a nap." Yes, a nap. Naps are sooo nice. This past Sunday  I woke up and had to teach, from the moment I was awake I had this plan to go teach power yoga - release, release, release - and then come home and go back to bed. I did just that and it was incredible! It was such a gift to myself.

These photos are of dinner tonight ( tofu never looks pretty), the best way to serve tofu has to be baked, has to be. I don't think I could get it past Adam any other way. It's a process, with the pressing and draining and marinating (tamari, garlic, ginger, h2o) and slow baking and all - but it's very hands off in preparation so if you're home for the day it's a good time to make a bunch up. The veggies are simply roasted butternut squash with onions and whole garlic cloves. Drizzle with really good olive oil and season with sea salt and pepper. Bake in a single layer at 375 for about 50 minutes. Drizzle a couple of teaspoons maple syrup in the last 15 minutes. Tofu was diced and tossed with veggies, served over brown rice. Yum!

Last night I took a power class and though my physical energy was a little low from detox fatigue... uddiyana bandha  was incredible! More accessible than I can ever recall. So there it is. I'm very curious to explore this new path in my life and look forward to the many days ahead with a clear mind, purified body, and restful heart.

Comments

[Jessie Bryson]

You are very brave and should feel empowered! I have been veggie for over a year and I've 'dabbled' with veganism. But, as you mentioned, my love affair with cheese is too overwhelming.
Good for you. I can't wait to see the recipes!

[Sarah]

What a brilliant post - it takes resolve to do the vegan thing in a house full of meat eaters. I wish you all the very best with your new endeavour!

[Sarah]

What a brilliant post - it takes resolve to do the vegan thing in a house full of meat eaters. I wish you all the very best with your new endeavour!

[Lía]

Congrats! I went vegetarian almost two years ago and I feel great, I've been wanting to do it since ever. My boyfriend is not veggie but he is very supportive and respects my choice, I'm sure you will do it ok. Best wishes ;)

[Tracy]

Your tofu i calling my name! I've been a vegetarian fo almost6 years now. My husband still eats me, but appreciate my meat-free meals very much...and as I'm head cook, he can't complain! ;o) Doing vegan is hard where I live as tofu is almost impossible to get. Here in Norway it is meat, fish & potato country, tofu is not understood nor easily found. I hope that will change though. Until then though--beans are my buddies! I can relate to the caffeine issue..This year DH & I have been making efforts to reduce caffeine intakes, with mixed results...which is why this will carry of to next year I'm sure--LOL! Best wishes and happy eating with your new vegan outlook! :o)

[Sarah]

I'm a lurker, but just wanted to thank you for this inspiring post. I have been eating too poorly lately and feeling the results - sluggish, moody, bloated. You just gave me the kick in the pants I needed! Your food looks yummy!

[Bluebirdbaby]

I was a vegan for a few years until my pregnancy. I developed many food sensitivities (turned out it was my unborn daughter with the sensitivities/allergies) and my diet became so limited that I had to eat meat again. We eat meat once or twice a week now, free range, local, organic. It was hard for me. Really hard. It's still hard, but I find that my body needs it; craves it even if I go two weeks without any red meat. (I never even ate red meat as a child!) My sluggishness, headaches and irritability were directly related to sugar and gluten. I cut out all sugar except for agave nectar and maple syrup and felt incredibly better. I'm 99.9% sure I have Celiac's too, so I've been off gluten for months.
Anyway, sorry for the book here. It's great you're going vegan, but don't beat yourself up if you find yourself needing meat. Good luck with it all!!

[heather]

thank you all so much for your encouragement! makes a girl feel good...

bluebirdbaby, your words and ideas around food always inspire me. on your blog and now here, thank you. that sugar is really something isn't it? i know it's the biggest culprit here (dairy being up there too)which is why this idea to go vegan seemed so surprising and perhaps extreme to me. to cut out meat and eggs as well. i'm so curious about how i will feel in the long run... and though i've never felt the need in my body for animal protein the way my husband and daughter truly do... if the need should arise, there is always that freezer full of meat! and for indulging, there is still green & blacks dark, right? ;)

[Kim]

Heather,
Good for you for taking care of yourself! My favorite meal is brown rice tortilla, (food for life brand), rice cheese, my husbands homemade salsa,tabouli,with greens. Listening to my body has never proved to be a mistake for me. It is hard for me to eat the way I love living with two boys and a husband who have different tastes, we make it work with give and take. As always I love your blog and I am loving the bag you made. My friends love your sweet tissue holders! Take care,
Kim

[dorre]

hi. i wanted to suggest a tofu recipe and couldn't get my computer to read your 'email me' button... so sorry to post this here. i've been lurky for a while here and have really enjoyed your posts. my husband and i are asian, he of the chinese variety. we have both eaten a LOT of tofu in our time. his family's favorite style (a one that has become one of my japanese family's favorites) is to stick a whole cold block of tofu in a pretty bowl (solves the unphotogenic problem), heat up a few tablespoons of oil on high in a pan, while the oil heats peel and finely chop enough fresh ginger to cover the top of the block of tofu, and add a handful of chopped green onion and cilantro. drain any extra water that has seeped from the block of tofu. heat the oil until it is literally smoking hot and then pour over the tofu and it's toppings. it will sear the ginger and greens (sizzling quite a bit). pour shoyu (soy sauce) over the top and you're done. good luck to you. happy detox. you're quite brave to start this at the holidays.

[Cheryl]

Wow, Heather, what a big step (especially during the holidays, as Dorre said), congratulations!
I was a vegan for a year following 12 years of vegetarianism. Getting pregnant with my son changed that, though - at first I just craved peanut butter, but then I had a dream that we had to kill a crazed moose in self defense, and my overwhelming thought was "Woo hoo, moose meat, and it's totally justified because it was self defense!". I took that as a sign that I needed something. It turns out that my son craves meat like crazy whenever he's in a growth spurt, so I blame him. : )
I'm still 99% vegetarian, but my love of cheese keeps me from going totally vegan again. I can do veggie milk, meat, and ice cream no problem, but I have yet to taste a fake cheese that I like!
Good luck, and have fun! There are lots of great vegan cookbooks out there!

[Amber]

I have considered going vegan many times. I just don't know if I can give up cheese! I'm such a dairy-holic.

I hear ya with the coffee---these last six months have found me downing coffee not only in the AM but as a pick-me-up in the afternoon, too. I recently read the book by Muriel Hemmingway that is right along these lines----she recommends weaning yourself off caffeine (have you ever tried Teecino?). Almost half her book is about yoga and taking care of your soul...It's a good read.

I LOOOOVE tofu this way. In fact, I love tofu anyway you serve it---I know, I'm weird. One time I was baking tofu and a friend stopped by and asked, "What is that fabulous smell?!" He was pretty surprised to learn it was tofu---he hates tofu! Also, I now use one of the recipes from Muriel Hemmingway's book for "Tofu Steaks." They are VERY quick and my kids love them.

[joker the lurcher]

good luck with your new path. its just the time of year to look after yourself

[Meredith]

Good luck to you!! I know you can do it. You are an inspiration...to tune in to what our bodies need. It's really a gift to do that for yourself.

[sara]

It is so good to listen to your body and I have tons of experience doing that. I am so glad you are getting off caffeine, especially the coffee variety. I haven't drank caffeine for months and months and I haven't drank coffee for years and years and I can't believe the incredible difference it makes. It is so liberating to not have a dependency on it.
I have been having a parallel journey with you as my body has screamed at me to give up wheat. I have ate it moderately for a long while now, but finally felt the call to stop it.
one thought I had about dairy is this. do you find that the raw milk bothers you? I think you have mentioned getting milk from a farmer and I am assuming it is raw. I know some people can tolerate raw over pateurized and raw cheese when it is not melted.
I am very inspired by raw foods and feel best right now when i include as many as possible. I think I may be in the process of transitioning to all raw. I would recommend checking out some raw books and getting some good nut pate recipes. Raw Food Made Easy is a great one to have around.
Sorry for the super long reply, but you have touched on a subject close to my heart. I love yummy baked tofu occasionally, but be aware of too much soy. I am not sure if you are already hip to it. If not, you may want to research it.
peace

[Felicia]

Looks delicious :)

[jean]

Hmmm....have you seen the book by Peter Berley called The Flexitarian Table? Pretty sure that's the title. We're sort of family of mixed dietary needs as well.

[michele]

I think the tofu looks delicious! Good luck on being vegan. I was macrobiotic for a while and enjoyed being vegan and sugar free. Food just tasted better, carrots were sinfully sweet. Now I want to slowly convert the tribe to raw vegan.
veganlunchbox has great recipes

peace

[emily]

i have been thinking and thinking about this post. i'm pretty sure it's because i have not been treating my body as though it is the temple of my soul in recent months. and though i'm not sure whether vegan will be my path or whether it will be something else, i'm quite sure that a temple-renovation is calling my name. i thank you for reminding me. and best to you, with your food-change. i'm hoping you'll be sharing updates and recipes along the way.

[Lisa]

This is a beautiful recipe walk-thru. Looks delicious.

I also love that fantastic snowman pix. Someone sure worked hard on that.

Happy holidays!

[Steph]

I have a stack of vegetarian cookbooks.. me and a few of my children could take it or leave it as far as meat goes... its habit really, not preference... my 16 year old and I have been talking... of going at least vegie..again. Anyways, I wanted to share a favorite tofu recipe..that even when all the 'men' were home...they ate... mostly before they had a clue what ti was ;)
You take a block of firm tof, slice and lay on toweling, with more on top, a cookie shet then some cans or something to weigh it down, let it drain for about an hour... the longer the better of course, changing toweling if need be.
Slice it into bite size pieces now... into a pan add some oil..put in the tofu and brown, then add diced onion and garlic, cooking til translucent (I have found if I do the onion first, it is hard to brown the tofu) once the onion is translucent add in a few tablespoons of soy sauce... then sprinkle in whole wheat flour, enough to give it all a bit of 'crust' cook and stir til nice and golden...then squeeze the juice of one lemon over the top... and done. We have it over a bed of rice, jasmine is our favorite.
Enjoy! (When I was given the recipe years ago the person said it was called "lemon stedda chicken')